CHAPTER TEN

Laura and Remington sat on the sofa in the reception area of the office and alternated looking at the door and Mildred’s unoccupied desk.  It was well after eleven and no sign of Mildred.  “Where do you suppose that woman is?”  Remington asked.  He was a tad grumpy because Mildred wasn’t there with his morning cup of tea and Laura told him to make it himself.

“Probably meeting with my mother to make more arrangements for the wedding.  If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think it was their wedding instead of ours.”

He looked at her frustrated face.  “Why are they making all of the arrangements anyway?  I could have sworn you and I were the ones getting married.  Shouldn’t we have a say in what takes place at it?”

“Apparently not…  It seems my mother, my sister and Mildred have decided that we have far too many things to think about and too much work to do to worry about the little details.  Did you know Frances is actually trying to choose my bridal party?”

“Really?  Hmm… Does bring up an interesting question though.  Who is going to make up the bridal party?”

“Well Frances has already designated herself as the Matron of Honor and Mindy as a junior bridesmaid and Laurie Beth as flower girl. I called Bernice and left a message for her to call me.  The answering machine said she and Tom were out on tour but they’d be checking in.  Mother’s going over the guest list, although I’m not sure where she’s getting the names from considering I haven’t given her anything yet…”

“Why did you agree to let her handle everything Laura?  What happened to that nice, quiet little wedding we were going to have, eh?”

“What happened?  My mother walked with into the loft and found us with your tongue on my abdomen remember?!  Letting her handle the arrangements for the wedding was the only way we were ever going to hear the end of it.  You know it’s almost funny.”

“What?”

“How when Mother walked in and found us in bed she was livid but the minute Mildred said ‘wedding’ Mother started beaming like a Cheshire cat.”

He took her hand in his.  “Well Laura, I suppose it’s just one of those cases of a mother who only wants the best for her daughter and was more than a little worried when no one could reach you and then was completely taken by surprise when she discovered that you actually have a sex life.” 

Laura gave him the ‘I’m going to hurt you’ look again.  “What do you mean ‘actually’?  You make it sound like I’ve been living the life of a vestal virgin for decades.”

“Well we know that’s wrong considering you lived with Wilson for nearly two years.”

“Year-and-a-half but that’s beside the point.  Before you came along I wasn’t exactly wasting away like a withering flower.  There were others you know!”

Remington immediately sat up straight and turned to face her.  “Others?  What others?  Laura, I was under the impression that Wilson had left such an indelible mark that you shied away completely…”

Laura inwardly laughed because he had taken the bait hook, line and sinker.  “Let’s see, there was Jerry.  He was a paramedic with a flair for practicing CPR.  Then there was Mitchell the insurance broker.  He always focused too much on ‘the maximum amount of protection’ for anything to be even remotely fun.  Then there was Roger.  He was a Marine that was here on a layover and well, let’s just say that he gave new meaning to the phrase, “all hands on deck”.  Shall I continue Mr. Steele?”

Remington’s face was the picture of sheer disbelief mixed with utter shock and dismay.  “I’m not sure I want to hear anymore of this Laura.  I already know about Bill, Norman, Wilson, and the attraction to that hideous writer, what was his name? Bemis, Butch Bemis and that lawyer for Buddy Shapiro.  Then toss in that four-letter word for rat Tony and ugh, I shudder to think.” 

“What about you?  There’s probably been a list so long that I would need to install a revolving door on your bedroom to keep them all straight!”  She knew by the expression on his face that she had gone too far.  “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.”

He looked at her with hurt in his eyes.  “Me too… Laura there hasn’t been any other woman in my bed since the day I realized I had feelings for you.”  He stood up and started pacing the floor.  “Yes, there were a string of women and I honestly didn’t care from one day to the next who I woke up with or where I was.  Then I met you and everything changed.  Except the closer we get to this wedding, it seems the only thing that’s changing is you.”

“I was only joking about the first three because of that crack about ‘actually having a sex life’.  Yes, there was Wilson and well, there might have been someone else but it didn’t happen.”

“Might have been?  Tell me Laura, was it before or after I came into your life?”

Laura looked at his face and knew he was deadly serious.  She lowered her eyes and heard him let out a disappointed sigh.  She looked at him again.  “Please, come sit down.”  Instead of sitting on the couch he chose the chair.  She got off the couch and kneeled in front of him.  She leaned forward and kissed the top of one of his hands as she lifted it to hold.  “I know I should have told you long before now but something happened last year.  I wasn’t expecting it and I don’t know just how it happened, but it did.  When I was in Mexico and you lost the agency’s license, I found myself becoming very attracted to someone.  I knew I felt something but didn’t know what to do about it because I found myself becoming confused between what I was feeling for him and what I felt for you.”

“As I recall, this would be about the time that you also decided we needed a break to think about our relationship and whether we could survive without the agency.  So tell me, were you thinking about us or thinking about him?  And let me guess, he would have been William Westfield?”  She lowered her head again and nodded in confirmation of his question.  “How far did it go Laura?”

“I got on an airplane to go back to Mexico with him.  I knew what would more than likely happen that night while we were there and the more he talked about how special I was and what we might have, the more I knew I couldn’t go.  I couldn’t walk away from what we had, what we have, but when I got to your apartment to tell you that I was wrong about everything, you were gone.  My entire world came crashing down around me and the only person I wanted to talk to, to hold me and to tell me that everything would be okay was you.  And you left me…”  By then Laura was choking back tears.  “But since we’re being completely honest, I have a question for you.  If I hadn’t gone to London and tracked you down, would you have come back or would you have abandoned me like every other man I’ve ever loved?”

He pulled his hand out of her grip and used both of his to hold her face.  He was just about to answer when the doors to the office opened and Mildred and Abigail walked in.  Mildred smiled while walking to her desk, “Sorry I’m late kids, but we didn’t think you two lovebirds would mind having an extra few minutes alone.” 

Laura closed her eyes and Remington took a deep breath and simply stared at her before standing up, walking to his office and closing the door.  Laura swallowed hard and without a word also walked to her office and locked herself inside.  Mildred and Abigail looked at each other for a moment until Mildred broke the silence.  “Something we said?”

Abigail put down her purse and headed for Laura’s office.  She knocked on the door and heard Laura’s muffled voice, “Go away.”

“Laura, open the door and tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t want to talk about it Mother.  I just want to be left alone.”

“If there’s something wrong maybe I can help you fix it.”

“You can’t fix it Mother.  Just please leave me alone.”

Abigail flung her hands in the air and turned back to Mildred.  “She’s always been such a dramatically, flighty child.  Stubborn to a fault, I don’t know where she gets that from.”

Inside his office Remington sat in silence at his desk, his head in his hands.  As he raised his head to place his chin in his hand, he could hear the soft sobbing coming from Laura’s office and knew that she was in tears.  The muffled sound of her crying tore through him as if someone had taken a knife and ripped straight through his heart.  The worst part was that he didn’t know if she was crying over having to admit her feelings for William Westfield or because he didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear or because she’s afraid that he’ll leave her for good.  It was a question that had crossed his mind nearly every day of the past four-and-a-half years.  “Why I am still here?”  He looked to the door that connected their two offices and stood up.  As he walked closer to the door he reached out to take the knob but stopped before taking hold.  Instead he lowered his head and leaned it against the door in a feeling laced with betrayal, frustration and guilt as he silently listened to the crying on the other side. 

When he could no longer take the feeling that was building inside, Remington opened the door to his office and walked out to the reception area where Mildred and Abigail were still working on wedding arrangements.  Mildred looked up from the desk, “You okay Boss?”

Remington looked over at her and half-heartedly nodded yes.  He paced around the area a few times and each time stopped for a split second in front of Laura’s office door.  On his sixth trip around the room, he finally stopped pacing and looked back to the desk.  “Abigail, could I see you for a moment please?”

“Yes, of course.”  She got up and followed him into his office.  He closed the door and motioned for her to sit.  She sat on the sofa and watched as he paused at Laura’s door again.  “You’ll have to forgive her.  She’s rather high-strung today, but I’m sure you know how it is.  It’s just pre-wedding jitters.  It will pass, you’ll see.”

Remington had a very solemn look on his face as he sat in the chair next to her.  “Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?  Of course I’m sure.  Laura’s always been stubborn and when she doesn’t get her way, she pouts.  I’m sure whatever the problem is between you two she’ll come to her senses and everything will be back on track in no time.”  His look didn’t change so Abigail continued.  “Unless whatever’s wrong is work related?  Now I know Laura can be impetuous, opinionated and very hard-headed sometimes but she means well and as her employer…”

Remington stopped her mid-sentence.  “I’m afraid that would be the other way around.  I’m not Laura’s employer.” 

“What do you mean you’re not her employer?  She works for Remington Steele Investigations and you’re Remington Steele.”

“Laura is Remington Steele Investigations and I’m…well, I’m someone who came along at both the right and wrong time.”

“I don’t understand.  What do you mean Laura is Remington Steele Investigations?”

“Abigail, I’m going to tell you a story that might seem hard to believe but it’s the God’s honest truth.  Lord knows I’ve never been terribly good at telling it but right now it’s all I’ve got and unfortunately, it’s also what I need the most at the moment.  I’m not Remington Steele.  Remington Steele is a name that Laura invented to try to make it in the Investigations Industry because no one was taking a female private detective seriously.  She’s the heart and soul of this firm as well as its full owner.  Five years ago, I was spending my days and nights as a first-class con man and I set my sights on a collection of one-of-a-kind exquisite jewels.  Remington Steele Investigations had been hired to protect them.  I nearly had my hands on them until I saw her.  Then I discovered the secret of Remington Steele’s non-existence and stepped into his identity.  She didn’t know I had done so until her client introduced Remington Steele to a room filled with people and I stood up.  By the end of the weekend, she was convinced that her secret would be safe and she would be permanently rid of me, and I was convinced that the most exquisite jewel of the entire collection was her.  So I stayed in Los Angeles and for all intensive purposes, I became Remington Steele.”

Abigail’s expression was one of complete confusion.  “If you’re not Remington Steele, then who are you?”

Remington rose from the chair and joined her on the sofa.  “I wish I could tell you.  I wish I could tell her but that’s something that has eluded me for my entire life.  My mother was very young and died while giving birth to me.  I spent my life being bounced from house to house, assorted relatives and strangers, and all of them would give me a different name.  I spent the vast majority of my childhood stealing from people just to be able to eat or have a warm place to sleep.  By the time I was a teen I was honing the craft of pick pocketing and had it down to a science.  Then I met Daniel Chalmers and he introduced me to an entirely new world.  Granted, most of it was still scamming some hapless person but it was in an elevated environment.  Daniel took care of me and became my mentor and the father I never had.”  He lowered his head. “It wasn’t until Laura and I were in Ireland last week that he told me the truth.  Turns out he really was my father and just didn’t have the courage to tell me until that moment.”

Abigail started to sense there was more to the story and pressed him.  “That charming scoundrel is your father?  Why isn’t he here as well helping with all of the plans?”

“Because he’s dead. He died a few minutes after telling me the truth about who he really was.  In that one moment, I had a sense of who I truly was only to have it taken away again when I turned around and he was gone.  I suddenly had the realization that everything I had done up to that point had been merely existing.  I didn’t want to live my life that way anymore.  I had spent my life hiding because I feared being rejected like I had been so many times before.”

“I’m so sorry.”  She reached out and touched his hand.

“So am I.  I could have used his advice right about now.  Next to Daniel, Laura is the only person I’ve ever known who has ever made me feel like I was truly wanted.  Like I belonged somewhere and with someone who would love me no matter what.  Abigail, I need your help.  There is nothing in the world that I want more than to have Laura by my side every day of the rest of my life but there are several unresolved issues and I don’t know how to approach them or help her get through them without her pushing me away.”

“I’m sure whatever it is can’t be all that bad Rem…  Um, I’m sorry, but what should I call you?”

“I’ve grown both rather fond of and accustomed to Remington Steele, but you can refer to me as whomever you wish.  Chances are I’ve probably used the name at one time or another.”

“Well Remington, Laura’s always been very closed up and quiet when it comes to what she’s thinking and feeling.  Sometimes it feels as if you need those jaws-of-life to pry anything out of her.”

“Abigail, I know this isn’t something you probably want to discuss, but I need you to tell me the circumstances surrounding Laura’s father leaving.”

Abigail suddenly straightened her back and became defensive.  “I don’t see what that has to do with anything or why you would need to know.”

“Because Laura is suffering every single day Abigail.  She’s afraid of the prospect of letting go and loving someone because she’s terrified of being alone.”  He got off the couch and began pacing in front of the table.

“That’s ridiculous.  The only suffering Laura may or may not be doing is something she’s bringing on herself.  Why would Frank walking out on me have an adverse affect on her?  Yes, he’s her father but her relationship with him was a far cry from what mine was.”

“Yes but now she’s taking your situation and turning it into her own.  She desperately tries to cover the truth but it’s obvious that she was devastated when he left and she’s transferred that devastation into fear and it’s emotionally paralyzing her.  When you and Mildred walked into the office a little while ago and saw what took place, didn’t that strike you as something wrong?”

“Well yes, but I figured it was something to do with the wedding or a client.”

“In a way it did.  Laura had just told me about the fact that she was attracted to someone else a little less than a year ago and then asked me if I was planning to abandon her like every other man she’s ever loved has.  Abigail, she’s sitting in a room twenty feet from here crying her eyes out and there’s nothing I can say or do to convince her that I’m not leaving because her mind won’t let go of the thought of coming home one day and finding nothing more than a note like her father and Wilson left her with.”  Remington didn’t hear the door open behind him.  “Please, you’ve got to give me anything that will allow me to reach her because without it, I feel as if I have no choice but to walk out that door forever.”

He was facing Abigail when he heard the words come from behind his back. “So what’s stopping you?”