CHAPTER FOUR

Mildred and Mikeline pulled up to the side of the road next to Terrence and the car.  Terrence pointed to His Lordship and Mildred asked Mikeline to wait for her.  She needed to talk to Mr. Steele alone.   

Remington sat on the edge of a log staring at the ground as the rain hit the dirt, turning it into mud.  He didn’t hear Mildred as she walked over to him.  He didn’t realize she was there until she touched his shoulder.  Startled, he looked up and then lowered his head again.  “Why aren’t you on the train back to London?” 

“Because we weren’t going to leave without you.” 

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to.  I can’t go back to Los Angeles, Mildred.  There’s nothing left for me there.” 

“Nothing except an agency you love, a file cabinet full of clients who want your help, and two women who love you very much.” 

He sighed and grinned in disbelief.  “Really, you and who else?” 

“Miss Holt.” 

“Laura doesn’t love me Mildred.  She made that exceedingly clear this morning.”

“Boss, she does love you.  That woman has gone through more, has let you get away with more and has supported you through more turmoil than anyone I’ve ever seen.  Why do you think she’s allowed it for all these years?”

Remington straightened his back and faced straight ahead.  “Because I’m her meal-ticket Mildred.  I’m the face of Remington Steele.  That’s how all of this started.  I was planning to steal jewels and instead I decided to steal the identity of Remington Steele.  I wanted to catch her in her own web of lies.  Make her squirm and try to find a way out of it.  I told myself that it would be a few days, a wild weekend, an in-and-out dash through her life, just like all the other women before.  I never intended to stay Mildred.  I never intended to be the one who was captured… I never intended to fall in love.”  He stood up and put his hands in his pocket.  Taking a few steps he stopped again and turned to face her.  “Doesn’t really matter now though.  I can’t do it, Mildred.  I can’t go back and be Laura's lap dog.  Willing to be her friend and lover when it suits her mood and cast aside like an errant schoolboy when it doesn't."

“Miss Holt is beside herself and this whole thing is all my fault anyway.  I never should have said anything this morning.  If I had kept my mouth shut the two of you would be getting married right now instead of wandering the streets alone. Boss, just come home with us and everything will be fine.”

Remington looked up at the sky.  The clouds were hovering and threatening to drop more rain.  He stood still for a moment, then looked back down at Mildred.  She couldn’t tell if the drops coming down his face were water or tears.  He took her by the hand and walked her back to the car.  “Mikeline please take Ms. Krebs back to the castle.  Terrence you take the car and go on back too.”

“I can’t leave you out here Boss.  Please just get in the car and come home with us.”

“I’m not your boss Mildred.  I’m not Remington Steele.  I’m nobody, no one, a man without a name, a man without a home. Goodbye luv. Oh, and Mildred, one more thing, tell Laura I love her.”  He lowered his head and turned to walk away. 

Mildred watched with tears in her eyes as he pulled the collar on his jacket up to cover the back of his neck and shivered as the rain once again began to fall. The man she had come to love as a son was in incredible pain and there was nothing she could do about it.  As she watched his silhouette fade into the distance she knew she was faced with an even more difficult task.  She had to find a way to tell Laura that her Remington Steele was never coming home.

An hour later, Mildred stood in the doorway of Ashford Castle waiting for Laura to return.  She paced back and forth through the foyer and stopped when she heard the sound of a car engine being turned off.  Taking a deep breath she opened the door and went outside. 

Laura knew from the moment she looked at Mildred that something was horribly wrong and rushed to her side.  “Mildred.  My god Mildred, what’s the matter?”

“Oh Miss Holt, this is all my fault.  I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have…” Mildred was breaking down as she spoke and finally couldn’t stop herself from bursting into tears.

“Mildred, whatever it is, I’m sure it will be all right.”  For a brief moment, Laura forgot about Remington and focused all of her attention on Mildred’s sorrow, not knowing the news that was about to come.

Mildred sniffled and tried to hold back her tears as she looked at Laura.  “I don’t know how to say this.”

Laura put an arm around Mildred’s shoulder.  “Say what, Mildred?”

“I found the boss, I mean Mr. Steele.  I mean…” she broke down in sobs again. 

“And…” Laura’s impatient side came flooding through her concern.  “Mildred!  Where did you find him?  What did he say?  Where is he?”

Mildred looked at her with such sorrow in her eyes that Laura removed her arm from Mildred’s shoulder and slowly backed away.  “Mildred, he came back with you didn’t he?”

Mildred couldn’t bring herself to say anything.  She just stood there weeping and watching Laura’s expression turn from concern to utter shock.

“He didn’t come home with you?” 

Mildred shook her head no.  Laura became overcome with fear.  “What did he say, Mildred?”

“That he has no reason to go back to Los Angeles.  That he’s not Remington Steele.  He’s nobody, no one, a man without a name, a man without a home.”

“Where is he Mildred?” 

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?  Where did he go?”  Laura was frantically trying to put the pieces together in her mind but deep in her soul, she already knew the truth. 

“I swear I don’t know.  He’s out there somewhere without even a coat and he’s lost Miss Holt.  He’s completely lost.”

“He must have given you some kind of idea of where he was going Mildred.  Think, please think!”

“That’s all I’ve been doing.  He didn’t give any clue at all.  He put me in the car and told Mikeline to bring me back to the castle and told Terrence to bring the other car back too.  I begged him to come back with me and just he looked at me and said goodbye.  There wasn’t any sparkle in his eyes, no lilt in his voice, nothing but those last words.” 

“What last words Mildred?”

Mildred hesitated but finally said, “Tell Laura I love her.”

Laura closed her eyes and Mildred watched as the color drained from her face.  Her worst nightmare had come true.  He was gone.  She stood frozen in place trying to keep herself from falling to the ground.  Mildred walked to her and tried to reassure her that he would still be back but Laura shook her head and walked through the foyer and up the staircase that led to the master bedroom.  When she reached the door she slowly opened it, hoping against hope that he would be waiting inside.  The empty room was dark and cold.  Laura looked around at the shadows and slowly walked to the side of the bed.  Unable to control her emotions any longer, she fell on the satin bedspread and clutching the pillow he had slept on the night before, Laura cried herself to sleep.